W. C. Fields Quotes And Sayings

I Don't Know Why I Ever Come In Here. The Flies Get The Best Of Everything.

Some Weasel Took The Cork Out Of My Lunch.

All The Men In My Family Were Bearded, And Most Of The Women.

Hell, I Never Vote For Anybody, I Always Vote Against.

Marry An Outdoors Woman. Then If You Throw Her Out Into The Yard On A Cold Night, She Can Still Survive.

Once, During Prohibition, I Was Forced To Live For Days On Nothing But Food And Water.

I Always Keep A Supply Of Stimulant Handy In Case I See A Snake, Which I Also Keep Handy.

I Never Met A Kid I Liked.

I Never Drink Water. I'm Afraid It Will Become Habit-forming.

If I Had To Live My Life Over, I'd Live Over A Saloon.

I Never Vote For Anyone. I Always Vote Against.

Always Carry A Flagon Of Whiskey In Case Of Snakebite And Furthermore Always Carry A Small Snake.

It Ain't What They Call You, It's What You Answer To.

A Rich Man Is Nothing But A Poor Man With Money.