
The 'Aladdin' Thing - That's Not Work; That's Just Fun. Three Days In The Recording Studio Going Mad, Then The Animators Do All The Work. Not A Bad Way To Cash A Large Check, My Friend.
I've Never Been Asked To Appear On 'I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!,' So I Guess I Mustn't Be On The Professional Skids Just Yet.
I Knew Matt Damon And Ben Affleck Were Really Talented. As Actors, They Were Both Studly Young Men, And They Had Great Writers' Chops.
Sometimes You Have To Make A Movie To Make Money.
When You Look At Prince Charles, Don't You Think That Someone In The Royal Family Knew Someone In The Royal Family?
Spring Is Nature's Way Of Saying, 'Let's Party!'
I Love Kids, But They Are A Tough Audience.
My Mother's Idea Of Natural Childbirth Was Giving Birth Without Makeup. She Was Hyper-positive - The World Is A Wonderful Place, Rainbows And Unicorns. If You Said Anything Contrary To Her, You Were Basically Exiled.
I've Had A Lot Of People Tell Me They Watched 'Old Dogs' With Their Kids And Had A Good Time.
There's A Show In America Where All These People Compete With Ferrets, And They Don't Even Do Anything. They Basically Just Hold Them Up, And If They Don't Bite You, They Might Win.
It's Hard When You Read An Article Saying Bad Things About You. It Is As If Someone Is Sticking A Knife On Your Heart. But I Am The Harshest Critic Of My Work.
Carpe Per Diem - Seize The Check.
I Think It's Great When Stories Are Dark And Strange And Weirdly Personal.
I'm Much More Open To Being A Supporting Actor Right Now. At The Age Of 60, I'll Be Second Fiddle. Fine. I'm Happy To Do It.
Comedy Is Acting Out Optimism.
People Say Satire Is Dead. It's Not Dead; It's Alive And Living In The White House.
Cricket Is Basically Baseball On Valium.
I Believe Ronald Reagan Can Make This Country What It Once Was... A Large Arctic Region Covered With Ice.
You Can Start Any 'Monty Python' Routine And People Finish It For You. Everyone Knows It Like Shorthand.
Look At The Walls Of Pompeii. That's What Got The Internet Started.
The Idea Of Having A Steady Job Is Appealing.
Acting Is Different From Stand-up. It Gives You This Ability To Enter Into Another Character, To Create Another Person.
I Left School And Couldn't Find Acting Work, So I Started Going To Clubs Where You Could Do Stand-up. I've Always Improvised, And Stand-up Was This Great Release. All Of A Sudden, It Was Just Me And The Audience.
I Loved School, Maybe Too Much, Really. I Was Summa Cum Laude In High School. I Was Driven That Way.
Politics Is So Personal, Vicious And Immediate, How Are You Going To Get Anything Done? Even The Local Politics Where I Live Have Gotten So Ugly.
I Don't Have A College Degree, And My Father Didn't Have A College Degree, So When My Son, Zachary, Graduated From College, I Said, 'My Boy's Got Learnin'!'
When The Media Ask George W. Bush A Question, He Answers, 'Can I Use A Lifeline?'
For Me, Comedy Starts As A Spew, A Kind Of Explosion, And Then You Sculpt It From There, If At All. It Comes Out Of A Deeper, Darker Side. Maybe It Comes From Anger, Because I'm Outraged By Cruel Absurdities, The Hypocrisy That Exists Everywhere, Even Within Yourself, Where It's Hardest To See.
I Like My Wine Like My Women - Ready To Pass Out.
From The Point Of View Of Being In The Public Radar, Comedians Have Less Problems Than Other Actors. Action Movie Stars Like Stallone Or Schwarzenegger Usually Attract The More Aggressive Fans.
A Lot Of Vets Like 'Good Morning Vietnam' - I Get Great Letters From Guys.
I Loved Running, But All Of A Sudden Everything Hurt So Much. I Started Cycling When Zelda Was Born.
With Film Roles, It Just Has To Be A Character Either I Haven't Done Before, Or A Role With Somebody Really Interesting Or With An Interesting Person Or Group Of People.
I Was Only A Leading Man For A Minute; Now I'm A Character Actor.
I Enjoy Performing For Heavily Armed People. It's Easier Than Going To Georgia.
The Idea Of Juilliard Was That It Would Give You This Toolbox Full Of Skills That You Could Take With You And Apply To Anything.
I Have A Difficult Time Doing An Irish Accent; Even Now, It Kind Of Fades Slowly Into Scottish.
Why Do They Call It Rush Hour When Nothing Moves?
The Statue Of Liberty Is No Longer Saying, 'Give Me Your Poor, Your Tired, Your Huddled Masses.' She's Got A Baseball Bat And Yelling, 'You Want A Piece Of Me?'